Of Beasties and Machines
by queenofinsane
Summary: Various one shots and drabbles. Not all are romantic, and not all are about Deryn and Alek though I expect most will be. Rating just in case
1. Jealousy

**My first Leviathan fic. I read the book once and I was flipping addicted. Love the characters, love the concept, love the plot, just plain love it. Of course I'm looking forward to Behemoth, and all the Alek/Deryn yet to come. **

**Anwho I own NOTHING. Zip, nada, none, it's all Scott Westerfeld's. I only stake claim to the computer it was written on. **

**Jealousy**

Deryn Sharp had never been the jealous type. Ever. Especially when it came to the subject of a boy. She had always been far more interested in aeronautics and her Da's balloons than she had in boys. After all the inner workings of hydrogen breathers was a far more intriguing matter than which boy in the village was the most attractive. In fact up until recently the only interest she'd had in boys was how to disguise her-self as one.

She'd never once felt a squick of jealousy as she watched the other girls back home traipsing around in their frilly skirts and ridiculously oversized hats with some boy trailing after them like a love sick puppy. And she'd certainly never felt jealous about the ones mooning and swooning over any boy that gave them a second glance. Seeing those kinds of girls had just made her embarrassed to be a female.

However, as she sat in a pub and watched some Ottoman trollop dangle off Aleksander Hapsburg's arm like a parasitic leech, she felt a jealous rage like she had never thought possible. She had never felt so angry in her life.

The jealousy gnawed at her from the inside out. Raw anger flooded her every nerve making her blood boil. It consumed her like some sort of monster; a monster that brought out the worst in Deryn. Her eyes had narrowed to slits and she clutched the edge of the table so hard that her knuckles had turned a bone white. She felt like screaming.

And she had just one question on her mind.

_How dare she? _

How _dare_ that girl _flirt_ with Alek?

He was _Deryn's_ friend. What gave this tramp the right to talk to him in such a low sultry voice? Why should she be able to hold onto his arm in such an intimate manner? That wench shouldn't have even been looking at him. She had no right what so ever.

_She's not even that pretty,_ Deryn thought as the girl started to bat her eyes at Alek with a simpering smile.

Deryn ground her teeth as she watched the scene in front of her. She would really have liked to sock that wench in the nose. She would have taken great satisfaction in knocking the girl flat on her bum.

But she held herself back. It would have seemed mighty suspicious if she went around punching every single female that gave Alek a funny look. That would account for just about every other teenage girl in Constantinople.

_Get it together you ninny, _she told herself. _You're acting like a complete and total sod._ _Besides if you're feeling this way then it's your own bloody fault. _

And it was her fault. After all, as far as Alek knew she was midshipman Dylan Sharp. It wasn't like Alek was going to fancy her if he thought she was a boy, not with the way he was talking to that tramp.

Deryn had long since come to terms with her feelings for Alek, but had yet to tell him her secret. Every time she thought about telling him she felt sick to her stomach. How was she supposed to tell him that she had been lying to him from day one? She now cringed at the thought of telling him and what might happen; it was hard to believe she nearly blurted it out to him back in Switzerland.

She felt stupid, she felt like one of those silly swooning girls she'd always pitied. She had always told herself she would never end up like that, yet here she was getting all hot and bothered over one stupid boy. And he was the bloody prince of Clankers for that matter.

Deryn forced herself to tear her eyes from Alek and the trollop and stared at the half finished drink in her hand. _Stop thinking about him, it's that easy. Just stop thinking about him and the hurt will go away. _That was what she always told herself, but she couldn't stop thinking about him no matter how much it hurt.

And oh, did it hurt. It hurt more than she ever thought something possibly could. Every time she thought about him it was like she was drowning and couldn't breathe. And every time she saw him with a girl it was like someone had carved out her heart with a dull knife and stomped on it a million times before sewing up the hole in her chest with a rusty needle and frayed thread, leaving a hollowed out gap in her chest.

It hurt so bloody much. It like a constant ache no medicine could cure her of; like something heavy was permanently lodged right between her throat and her heart. Sometimes she wished she could just forget all about him. It would make things so much easier if she just didn't care… but sometimes she thought that might hurt even more.

But for now, she figured, it would be best to do what she usually did when she felt like this. Drown her jealousy in rum. Drown that jealous monster that had reared its ugly head again. She would drink until she was completely sloshed, and in the morning she would forget the incident had ever happened, and all would be forgiven with Alek none the wiser.

Until the next time it happened, and time after that, and the time after that.

She sighed and pushed her glass to the far side of the table. She couldn't take much more of it, the drink or the heartache. She was completely and totally sick of it.

She was sick of lying to Alek. She was sick of feeling like he couldn't trust her. She was sick of the secrets. And most of all she was sick of watching him talk to every other tart that passed him by. It was then that Deryn made her decision.

She stood up and rolled up her sleeves prepared to drag Alek all the way back to the barking ship if it meant she'd have a private word with him. Consequences be damned.

_It's about barking time he knew. _

**I'm actually rather proud of this one. I just started building on the whole jealousy thing and then it winded up to her deciding to tell him. It was actually rather unexpected, but that's alright. Oh and before you say anything bout "Deryn's only fifteen she can't drink" then go back and re read the book it mentions early on in the book something about drinking rum. Seriously I kid you not, chapter eleven. ****Oh, and Alek has no interest in the other girl what so ever. He's just trying not to be rude by totally blowing her off. He's not always polite but I imagine his parents at least taught him to treat girl's nicely.**

**Anyways I plan to add more unrelated oneshots or drabbles to this, not all will be affiliated with the romance category but quite a few will.**

**Constructive criticism is craved. Review if you wish. **


	2. Completely Mad

**First of all I want to say thank you to all my reviewers and subscribers. I love all who review or subscribe. So, thank you, gracias, merci, danke, grazie, and so on and so forth. I can never thank you all enough.**

**I had this conversation between Jaspert and Alek bouncing around for a couple days before I decided "I need to write this down." I actually had it when I was writing Jealousy, however I didn't want it to get in the way of writing it so I waited till I had finished writing Jealousy. **

**This takes place sometime in the future. Ideally after the war is over. **

**I OWN NOTHING. None of it. Everything belongs to the wonderful Mr. Westerfeld who is a complete genius. I just own my lovely laptop I wrote this on. **

**Completely Mad**

"So let me get this straight," Jaspert Sharp said to his companion, "you want to marry my flat-chested, cross dressing, loony of a sister?"

Alek frowned slightly at Jaspert's choice of words. They certainly weren't the ones he would have used to describe Deryn, but he nodded anyway.

Jaspert laughed loudly, briefly catching the attention of the rest of the pub's patrons, "you're either barking mad or full of clart."

"I assure you I am entirely serious,"

Jaspert laughed again and Alek sighed. He wished Jaspert would stop treating what he was saying like a joke. He was, as he had said, entirely serious. He had every intention of marrying Deryn Sharp, and he had wanted to do the polite thing and get Jaspert's approval.

After all this was his little sister. Alek thought the older boy would have harbored some sort of protective instinct that _all_ brothers were supposed to have. However, this _was_ the boy that had helped her lie her way into the military. Perhaps Alek needn't worry about gaining Jaspert's approval. It almost seemed like he didn't care.

"You're mad," the other boy decided before draining his glass of rum and ordering another, "absolutely barmy if you ask me. Why would you want to marry Deryn? She's completely crackers."

"_I_ don't think so,"

"Course you wouldn't"

Alek _didn't _think she was "crackers" as Jaspert put it. In fact, he thought Deryn was the most amazing woman he'd ever met. Though perhaps this was a strange thing to say; considering the fact that when they first met he had thought she was a boy, but it was true. She was astounding

She was beautiful. Despite her fondness for boy-ish haircuts she was prettier than any of the noble girls Alek had been forced to consort with in his younger days. She never thought she was pretty but Alek would always tell her she was wrong.

She was brilliant. She was always clever and witty, strong too, something he had always admired her for, wither she was pretending to be a boy or not.

There were a million ways Alek could have described Deryn Sharp, but it all summed up to one simple fact: he loved her. He couldn't understand why no else was able to comprehend it. Not even her own brother.

"So tell me," Jaspert said interrupting Alek's thoughts, "really now. Why do you want to marry my nut job of a sister?"

Alek started to respond but Jaspert interrupted him.

"You could have any girl you wanted. You're the barking prince of Austria, yet you're choosing to settle for Deryn. Scrawny, loony, _Deryn_ I don't get it."

"I don't suppose there is much to get. I love her."

Jaspert choked on the rum he was drinking and went into a coughing fit. "You're joking!" he managed between coughs. He was looking at Alek as though he had just suggested they jump off the nearest bridge, "you can't be serious."

Alek was suddenly angry. Alek had done nothing but tell the truth and Jaspert was treating it like some sort of farce.

Alek glared at the older boy, "I'm not joking, "the tone in his voice was like steel. "I don't know why you find it so unbelievable that I love Deryn. She is the most wonderful woman I could chance to meet, and the only girl I would ever want to marry. Since you don't take me seriously, I see it was a mistake to try and receive your blessing."

Jaspert snorted, "My _blessing_? You don't _need_ my blessing you bum-rag."

Alek blinked in confusion, "I don't?"

"Course you don't. It's not _my_ decision who Deryn marries. You want my blessing? Fine, I give you full permission to wed my sister."

"I don't understand. You call me crazy, tell me it's a stupid idea to want to marry her, and now you're alright with it?"

"Well the real question is: are _you _alright with it?" Jaspert says in all seriousness.

"Why would I not be?"

"You're alright with marrying a lass that you thought was a boy?"

Alek shrugged. He'd gotten over that fact a _long_ time ago. He just figured every else would get over it too. "I'm fine with it."

Jaspert chuckled, "you really are mad you know that? Completely barking"

Alek considered it and decided perhaps Jaspert was right. Perhaps he _was_ crazy to marry Deryn. Everyone had said the same thing when his father married Sophie, but Alek didn't think he had ever seen a happier couple than his parents. So what if he was crazy?

"Maybe I am," Alek shrugged.

"Course you are, and _that's_ why you're going to be the one marrying her. No one else is crazy enough to do it."

"That's assuring," Alek says turning to take a drink from his own glass of rum, "no competition."

Jaspert grinned and slung his arm around the other boy's shoulder, "Welcome to the family, you loon."

**I actually wrote this for two reasons. **

**I could totally see this happening. I can totally imagine Alek trying to be polite and receive Jaspert's blessing before marrying Deryn and Jaspert just treating him like he's completely insane.**

**I wanted an excuse to use Jaspert. I liked Jaspert's brief cameo in the first few chapters. He was funny and I wanted to see more of him in the story. However he got shunted off to the realm of minor and often forgotten characters. Baur and Hoffman (who have no real first names as of yet) have bigger parts than he does! I hope he makes a comeback in the later books. **

**Also I want to apologize, all my stories take place in bars or pubs with one or more of the character's drinking rum. I need to try something else. **

**Oh and this is extremely quick for an update. I'm sorry but don't expect another one so fast. School will kick my ass if I don't give it some effort. The only reason this one was so fast was I spent all night typing it as I watched "Bonnie and Clyde" "Ghostbusters II" and "The Nightmare Before Christmas" all are good movies though I recommend the first and the last movie more than the middle one. **

**Constructive Criticism is craved as usual. Please review. **


	3. Jealousy Part 2

**READ PLEASE! So… I actually hadn't really planned to continue with Jealousy. However I kept having scenarios in my brain that continued where I left it off from Alek's point of view. That, and I got a review that asked me to continue it, that was what got me to say "yeah I totally need to continue this." That review is credited to someone by the name of **_**tiger in the shadows**_**. So kudos to you and thanks a million. I owe you a virtual cookie and a giant virtual hug. **

**Don't worry though, I haven't forgotten about the rest of my lovely reviewers. I love you **_**all**_**. Reviewers, subscribers, and those who favorite the story. You're all awesome and deserve cookies. **

**Also a shout out to my friend Autumn. Who puts up with my ranting, my obsessions, and my general insanity and who was nice enough to help me edit this even though she does not read Leviathan. Seriously, we edited this thing like madwomen author's notes and all. Thanks to the power of a billion I owe you cookies or something. **

**Anyway I still own nothing. It still belongs to Scott Westerfeld. However I have yet to relinquish my claim on my laptop. And I do own my Ottoman trollop Amina. Yes, she has a name now. **

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**Jealousy Part Two**

Alek smiled politely as Amina complemented his eyes for the third time that night. The girl was clinging to his arm like her life depended on it, and Alek really wished she would let go. His arm had fallen asleep about twenty minutes ago, and it was starting to hurt. He _also_ wished he had an excuse to… well quite frankly, _ditch_ her. He did _not_ enjoy her company.

Not to say Amina wasn't pretty, however Alek just didn't find her all that appealing. Honestly, she was quite childish with her constant giggling and her clingy nature; it also appeared as though she did not believe in the concept of personal space. He found it all extremely annoying, and _really_ wanted to leave.

Just as Alek began to devise a plan of escape, (that may or may not have involved faking an injury), there was a sudden tap on his shoulder, and Alek turned to find Dylan behind him. "Can I talk to you…" he paused to glare at Amina, "_privately?"_

Alek nodded, thankful for his friend's sudden intervention, but Amina frowned at the prospect of Alek leaving and her grip suddenly tightened. He winced as her nails dug into his arm, not noticing the dirty looks Dylan was throwing the girl.

Alek turned to Amina, "Um… perhaps you could give me and my friend some privacy?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk outside," Dylan said.

Alek frowned, wondering what was so secretive that Dylan didn't feel comfortable talking about it in a noisy, overcrowded pub full of drunks who could probably care less about their personal affairs. "I suppose…."

"Come on then,"

It took a full ten minutes to convince Amina to let Alek go. She was quite insistent that he stay. It had taken careful persuasion on Alek's part, and some very angry (almost threatening "I-will-stab-you-if-you-don't-let-go-of-him-right-now") looks from Dylan before she finally relinquished her grip. Apparently whatever Dylan had to say was rather urgent. In fact he seemed rather nervous.

Leaving behind a very disappointed Amina, Dylan led Alek to an alley behind the pub. It was dark, cramped and rather smelly. The walls were covered with old stains and graffiti, and large rats skittered along the ground through various bits of garbage. Alek could see why it was an ideal place for a private conversation. No one in their right mind would want to pass through here.

"What did you want to talk about?" Alek asked.

Dylan ran a hand through his already messy hair and sighed. "Where to start?" He sounded strange, like he was about ready to cry.

Alek looked at his friend carefully. Though the lighting in the alley was dim, Alek could tell Dylan did not look well at all. In fact he looked positively sickly. His skin was pale, and there were dark circles under his bloodshot eyes like he had been up all night. His eyes weren't completely focused, and if Alek concentrated he could smell the faint scent of liquor on Dylan's breath. Dylan wasn't totally drunk, but it was quite clear that he _had_ been drinking. Rum, if Alek wasn't mistaken.

Alek placed a hand on Dylan's shoulder, "Dylan, are you alright?" The other boy stiffened under Alek's touch and suddenly exploded.

"No I'm not barking 'alright!'" he yelled shoving Alek's hand off his shoulder. His voice had jumped an octave and he was practically hysterical, "I can't take it anymore! I _hate_ this! I'm such a liar and… it's like I can't breathe…. And you… you don't know anything and I'm just sick of it all!" Dylan leaned against the alley wall and slid to the ground sobbing uncontrollably. He pulled his knees to his chest and buried his face in them as his body shook with violent sobs.

Alek was shocked. He'd never seen Dylan act like this. In fact, Alek didn't think he'd ever seen the boy cry once. He was usually so confident and strong. It was strange to see him so broken, and Alek didn't know what to do. All he could do was sit next to Dylan and ask, "What's wrong?"

Dylan looked up, sniffed, and wiped his face with his sleeve. "I've… I've b-been lying to you. I'm n-not wh-who you think I am. You're g-going to ha-hate me."

Alek was surprised Dylan would think that. It was absolutely preposterous. After all Dylan had done for him... what could be so earth shattering that it would change Alek's entire opinion about him? "Why would I hate you? You're my friend."

"I d-don't deserve to be," Dylan said miserably, still trying to hold back sobs.

"Of course you do," Alek assured him.

"No I don't," Dylan snapped bitterly, "you trust me with your secret, but I'm too bloody scared to tell you mine."

The two were silent for a long time. Alek sat and wondered what Dylan was hiding from him as the other boy stared at the ground with guilt written all over his face.

"I won't hate you," Alek said softly breaking the silence.

Dylan forced himself to look Alek in the eye. "I... I don't want you to think less of me. Because I'm… I'm still the same person, y-you know? I haven't changed. "

"Of course," Alek nodded.

Dylan was quiet for a minute then he took a deep breath and his voice shook. "A-Alek, my name's n-not Dylan…."

Alek frowned, confused. "It's not?"

Dylan hesitated for a few seconds, as if choosing his next words carefully. "No. M-my name is Deryn. I'm… I'm a girl."

A girl? Dylan was a _girl_? Impossible. This was the boy who held a knife to Alek's throat and made impromptu escapes down makeshift zip lines. That _couldn't_ have been a girl. But that would account for a lot of other things. Like why Dylan was so skinny, or why his voice would crack so high. Alek wouldn't have believed it if Dylan, no… _Deryn_ hadn't been crying her eyes out a few minutes ago.

"A… a girl?" Alek was flabbergasted.

Deryn nodded eyeing Alek as though he were a bomb ready to explode. When he didn't respond she buried her face in her knees again. He heard her sob some more, "I knew it. I b-bloody knew it. You b-barking ha-hate me."

"I'm not angry, and I don't hate you," Alek blurted. He barely registered the thought before it came out of his mouth, but it was true. He was… shocked and confused, but not angry. Still, he couldn't believe she'd kept something like this from him. She _lied_ to him. He supposed he _should _be angry, but for some reason he couldn't be. After all, she was lying to everyone else aboard the Leviathan too, not just him. What Alek didn't understand is why she felt so guilty hiding it from _him_.

She sniffed again, "… y-you don't?"

"No… I'm sure your reasons, whatever they are, are your own. I may not understand or… approve, but you have kept my secret and I will keep yours…. I'm glad you can trust me with it. Does… does anyone else know?"

Deryn shook her head.

"So… um, is there anything else I should know Dyl- er… Deryn?" The name sounded so foreign after calling her Dylan for so long.

She bit her lip nervously. "It's barking daft, really it is. Stupid actually, but it's just that I… I hate it when you talk to other girls. " She turned bright red, and looked like she instantly regretted the words leaving her mouth.

Alek frowned, "why?"

"Because I'm a jealous sod," she mumbled staring at her boots.

Alek flushed feeling rather awkward. Deryn was _jealous_ of those girls? Girls like Amina? Did she… did she _fancy_ him? How long had she felt that way? How long had Alek been toying with her emotions without realizing it? He didn't like her _that _way. After all, up until recently she was a boy, but he didn't want to hurt her either.

Alek cleared his throat and fiddled with his collar. He wanted to apologize, but didn't know what to say and started babbling like an idiot. "Well… I don't _like_ them. That is… I mean… um, I don't enjoy their company. It's just that… well I-I don't want to be rude.. to them, and I didn't know…. And I didn't mean to… um, _hurt_ you? _Emotionally,_ that is... But I don't… it's just-"

She smiled for the first time that night. "You don't have to make any barking excuses for me," she said interrupting him. "I know you don't like me like _that_," she gave a snort, "I mean, what boy would? After all, I'm about half cracked in the attic. It's just that I... I wanted it _all_ off my chest, you know? It's barking mad keeping everything in like that. "

"I'm sorry," Alek said quietly, sincerely.

"Don't be. I'll… I'll get over it. Besides, we can still be friends…" she looked at him hopefully, "right?"

"Right," Alek didn't even have to think about that decision. Deryn had proved herself to be an invaluable friend. Although this certainly made their relationship a little more... _complicated_ than it already was; he didn't want to lose one of the few friends he had. Plus, Alek didn't feel like it would be fair to Deryn for him to sever their friendship. No, she was definitely still his friend.

Alek stood up and offered a hand to Deryn. "Let's go back inside," he said as she took his hand and pulled herself up. "I'm guessing I'm not the only one who needs a drink now," he joked.

Deryn laughed, "Come on, you ninny. I'll buy."

And as they turned to go inside Alek took another good look at Deryn. She looked much better than before, less sickly and happier than before. He supposed it had something to do with getting her secret off her chest. And maybe it was the alley's dim lighting or maybe it was something else entirely, but from a certain angle Alek thought that Deryn actually looked kind of pretty.

* * *

**And so it begins…-cackles manically-. Er… I don't think I'll go any farther with this. I'm satisfied with stopping here. Did you know this is probably **_**the**_** most dialogue I've ever done? I hope it's good, and I really hope I kept them in character.**

**I'm nervous because I think if you read this without reading the first part Deryn seems horribly out of character. If you read the first part you know that the sudden explosion is from all the emotional **_**crap**_** bottling up before, but without it, it's just like "wow she's **_**so**_** not acting like herself." Her breakdown actually seems to be a total contrast to her determination before, but as they got to the alley she started having her doubts, and then the question of "are you all right," just totally set her off. Plus, I think she should have a breakdown, I think it would be beneficial to her character. Alek's had his, Deryn needs hers. And (*slight spoiler alert*) the moment she had about her dad in Behemoth doesn't count (*spoiler over*). I mean full honest to goodness emotional breakdown with tears, and sobbing. Oh, and sorry Deryn didn't "drag Alek to the barking ship" like you all were probably expecting, but honestly she didn't need to. Alek was desperate to leave. **

_**Any who…**_**I finished Behemoth. It was fantastic. I don't do major spoilers because that is rude for those who have not read it. Unless of course they **_**want **_**to know, but I'll give it about another week or so before I start referencing stuff that went down in Constantinople. However, I will say that Alek was extremely sexist throughout the book, and that I wanted to slap him. As much as I like him he was seriously starting to piss me off. Dummkopf. It appears as though I was wrong in my assumptions that his parents taught him to treat a girl nicely, well **_**equally **_**anyways.**

**Ah well, enough of my complaining and bitching. I crave the constructive criticism please. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Read Please**

**HEY! Haven't seen me in a while have you? **

**First things first. I want to apologize. I think I confused a lot of people in the last chapter when I said I was "done." I meant I was done with the one shots related to "Jealousy." Sorry if that was misinterperated. I'm not done with Leviathan fan fics I promise. You just won't hear from me so often because school's trying to kick my ass and my muse likes to hide from me. A lot, it's really annoying. **

**Muse! Come out, come out where ever you are! Ollyollyoxenfree! **

**Ahem… sorry. **

**2****nd**** Order of business is another apology. I haven't written in FOREVER. I actually started this one a long time ago, and I'm just finishing it now. Months later. I officially fail. Please allow me to go crawl underneath a rock _and die_. I suck. However, all my readers and reviewers are made of win. The reviews make my day guys, you are the bomb. You guys are fantastic, really you are. **

**Now for the disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING. The characters and universe in which they live belongs to Mr. Scott Westerfeld who is a GENIUS. I AM NOT WORTHY. I'm a lowly authoress who owns nothing but the gateway laptop she writes her silly little fics on. ****Dancing**

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One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. _Ouch! _

Alek grimaces as Deryn steps on his foot for what he thinks is the tenth time that day. He is starting to regret that he ever agreed to the task at hand, and suspects that his poor toes will be very bruised and slightly deformed before all is said and done. And it's all because he is trying to teach Deryn Sharp how to dance. The keyword, though, is _trying. _

He had thought a waltz would be the simplest dance to teach her, but apparently he was _wrong. _They've been practicing for an hour today and have made little to no progress. In the past sixty minutes alone Deryn has stepped on Alek's feet, tripped on both her skirts and her own two feet, and sent both Alek and herself falling to the ground five different times. Alek begins to wonder if his attempts are simply futile.

"Sorry," she apologized again as she removed her foot from Alek's, "I _told_ you this was a bad idea. Barking clumsy I am."

"It's alright," Alek assures her as the music from the record player in the corner continues to play, "it just takes a little practice."

Deryn gives a very unladylike snort and crosses her arms, "We've been 'practicing' for a _month_ now, and I _still_ dance like a drunken hippo. Face it Alek, I'm never going to get this. You're wasting your time."

"Deryn, you're going to have to dance."

"And make a barking ninny of myself? Not bloody likely."

"Deryn it's our wedding, they're going to expect you to dance."

Deryn huffs irritably, "Well if I wasn't stuffed into a corset designed to strangle me and if I could walk without tripping over my bleeding skirts, I_ might_ be able to _at least _do a two step without falling flat on my barking face."

Alek chuckles, "it can't be that bad."

She gives her fiancé a menacing glare, "It _is _that bad, and if you want proof then I'll let _you_ wear the bloody dress."

"An amusing thought, but no thank you. I don't think I would look very good in a skirt"

"I thought so," she smirks.

Alek smiles with a small sigh and offers his hand to her, "Let's try it again."

She gives a groan in protest but takes the offered hand none the less. Alek places his other hand on her waist and hers goes to his shoulder. They resume the lesson, the music in the corner still playing.

Again they try the waltz. One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. _Trip._

"Barking bloody spiders!" she swears as she loses her balance, and the two go toppling to the floor.

Deryn lands on top of Alek briefly knocking the wind out of him.

"Are you alright?" she asks him.

"I will be," he grunts, "once you remove your elbow from my solar plexus."

"Right sorry," she says sheepishly and scrambles off her fiancé.

"Perhaps we _should_ take a break," Alek says resignedly as he sits up and rubs the bruise he knows is already forming.

"Oh sure, _now_ you want to quit," she teases playfully shoving his shoulder, "barking typical boy."

"You hypocrite," he laughs, "_you_ were the one complaining."

"No, _I _was the one that told you this was a bad idea in the first place; _you're_ the one that was so insistent I learn."

"Would you prefer it if I had Count Volger teach you?"

Deryn shudders, "I think not, the man's a barking menace."

"Then let's try it again,"

"I thought you wanted to take a break,"

"Practice makes perfect,"

"Fine,"

They get up and start the dance again.

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. _Ouch! _

**It's kinda short, but I'm pretty proud of this one, particularly the dialogue (I sometimes feel like I TOTALLY SUCK at writing dialogue). I wrote this because I know for a fact dancing would not be Deryn's strong suit. At all. And I wanted to poke fun at her. However, I did have the feeling Alek would be a rather decent dancer. And I just wanted to write something cute and silly between them. **

**If you want this could be related to my second one shot with the conversation between Alek and Jaspert. Alek has proposed and Deryn said yes so they're now preparing for the upcoming wedding. But it's only related if you really want it to be.**

**Um… anyway I suppose you could call this a Valentine's present. Though I (like many others) will be spending the holiday dateless and single, I wish all of you out there with a "significant other" a very happy Valentine's Day. Love, affection, blah, blah, blah… you know the drill, right? **

**Anyway. I hope you enjoyed it. I want to know what you guys think. Constructive Criticism is CRAVED as always. **


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